Family Emergency Call? Hang Up, Call Back and Use a Code Word

A phone call comes in. The voice sounds like your grandchild, and it is frightened. Someone says there has been an accident or an arrest, and that money is needed right now. This is called a family emergency scam, or a “grandparent scam,” and it works because it aims at love, not at carelessness. Scammers can now copy a real voice with artificial intelligence, so a familiar sound is no longer proof. The good news is that a few calm habits stop this scam almost every time: hang up, call the person back on a number you already know, agree on a family code word, and never pay with gift cards, wire transfers, cryptocurrency or cash handed to a courier. This guide describes the pattern, the safe steps, and what to do if money has already gone.

Key takeaways

• The FTC says scammers can copy a relative’s voice using a short audio clip, often one posted online, so a voice that sounds right does not prove who is calling.
• The safest move is to hang up and call the family member on a number you already know is correct. If you cannot reach them, call another relative or a friend, even if you were told to keep it secret.
• A request to pay by wire transfer, gift card, cryptocurrency or payment app is a major warning sign. The FBI also warns about cash picked up at the door by couriers.
• If you paid, act at once. The sooner you contact the payment company and report, the better the chance of help.
• Report to the FTC at ReportFraud.ftc.gov, to the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3) at ic3.gov, and to your local police.

How the pattern works

The details change, but the pattern the FTC, the FBI and AARP describe has the same parts.

• A crisis. The caller says a grandchild, or another relative or close friend, is in trouble. Common stories are a car accident or an arrest.
• Extra voices. A second person may join the call and claim to be a lawyer, a police officer or a court official. This makes the story sound official.
• Urgency and secrecy. You are told that you are the only one who can help, that time is short, and that you must not tell anyone. The FBI says some callers claim a judge has ordered silence.
• A hard-to-trace payment. You are steered toward a way of paying that is difficult to undo.

The FTC notes that scammers may gather details from social media or a hacked family email account, or may simply guess. A caller who knows a grandchild’s name is not necessarily the grandchild or a relative.

The cloned voice

Voice cloning is software that learns to imitate a person’s voice. The FTC says a scammer needs only a short recording, which may come from a video or other content posted online. AARP also describes callers using a copy of a grandchild’s voice. This is why the advice below does not ask you to judge the voice. A real-sounding voice, a crying voice or a voice that says “Grandma” proves nothing.

Safe steps, in order

You may feel your heart racing. That is normal, and it is exactly what the caller hopes for. Use this list as a plan you can remember.

1. Slow down. The FTC’s short advice is “Slow down. Verify.” A real emergency can wait a few minutes for you to check.
2. Hang up. You do not have to be polite or explain. You can say you will call back.
3. Call the family member yourself on a number you already have, such as one saved in your phone or written in your address book. Do not use a number the caller gave you or press “redial” on an unknown number.
4. If you cannot reach them, call another relative or a friend of the family. The FTC and the FBI both say to do this even when you were told to keep the matter secret.
5. Check any “official” yourself. If a caller says they are from a police department, court or law office, look up that agency’s number on your own and call it. AARP gives this advice too.
6. Do not pay anything until you have spoken to the real person and checked the story.

Agree on a family code word

AARP suggests that families agree on a word, or a shared family memory, that only close relatives would know. If the caller cannot supply it, treat the call as suspicious. The FTC likewise says you can ask a question only the real person could answer.

• Choose something that is not posted online, and avoid a pet’s name or anything else visible on social media.
• Pick it together, in person or on a call you placed yourself, not in a text from an unknown number.
• Make sure every adult and older child in the family knows it, including grandchildren away at college.
• If you worry about forgetting it, AARP suggests a shared memory only your family would know instead of a word.
• Do not say the word out loud to a caller to “check” it. Ask them to give it.

A code word is helpful, but it is not the only protection. Even if a caller cannot answer, the call-back step still applies.

Payment methods that are warning signs

The FTC lists the payment methods scammers ask for: wire transfers through companies such as Western Union or MoneyGram, cryptocurrency, payment apps, and gift cards, where you read the numbers on the back to the caller. The FTC says any request to pay this way is a major warning sign.

The FBI adds a further pattern. In a 2023 public service announcement, it described victims being told to mail cash hidden inside magazines or books, or to hand cash to a courier who comes to the home. The FBI says some couriers, including rideshare drivers, may not know they are part of a scam. Cash given to anyone who arrives at your door in this way is very hard to recover.

A real family member, a real lawyer and a real court will not require payment by gift card or cryptocurrency, and will not send someone to your door to collect an envelope.

If you already sent money

Do not feel ashamed. These calls are designed by professionals. What matters now is speed. The FTC says the sooner you act, the better, however you paid. The steps below come from the FTC’s guidance on what to do if you were scammed.

How you paid	Who to contact right away
Credit or debit card	Your card issuer or bank, using the number on the card or your account, and ask for a refund
Wire transfer	The wire company (such as Western Union or MoneyGram). Say you were tricked and ask for a refund
Gift card	The card issuer, using the number on the card. Say a scammer has the number and PIN, and keep the card and receipt
Cryptocurrency	The exchange or crypto ATM operator. Protections are fewer, but ask for a reversal and report to the FTC
Payment app	The app company, to ask for a reversal and refund
Cash in the mail	The U.S. Postal Inspection Service at 1-877-876-2455. For a fee, it may be able to stop an undelivered package. For FedEx or UPS, contact the carrier as soon as you can

AARP also advises telling your bank right away, since it may be able to stop or reverse a payment. If cash was handed to someone at your door, tell the police at once and write down everything you remember about the visit.

Where to report

• FTC ReportFraud: reportfraud.ftc.gov.
• FBI Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3): ic3.gov. This is where the FBI asks for reports of suspicious or fraudulent activity. In 2023 it reported more than 195 complaints about grandparent scams from January through September, with at least $1.9 million in losses, which shows how many families are affected.
• Local police: especially if anyone came to your home or you handed over cash.
• Your state attorney general’s office: the FTC recommends this too.
• AARP Fraud Watch Network Helpline: 877-908-3360, a place to talk the situation through with a trained person.

Reports help investigators see patterns. They are also the proper way to warn others.

Lowering your risk before a call comes

• Let unknown numbers go to voicemail. The FBI advises against answering calls from numbers you do not recognize.
• Keep social media accounts private, and ask grandchildren to do the same. The FBI and AARP both note that scammers use personal posts to build believable stories.
• Use call-blocking or spam-filtering apps, as AARP suggests.
• Keep a short list of trusted family numbers near the phone.
• Talk about this scam with your relatives. The FTC encourages sharing scam warnings with family and community.

Frequently asked questions

The caller knew my grandchild’s name. Doesn’t that prove it is real?

No. The FTC says scammers can pull details from social media or a hacked family email, or they may guess. Always verify by calling the person on a number you already have.

What if I hang up and the real person really is in trouble?

Calling them back takes only a minute. If you cannot reach them, call another relative or friend. A real emergency will still be there, and a real lawyer or official will not demand gift cards or cryptocurrency.

Can the money be recovered?

It depends on the payment method and on how fast you act. Cards and some app payments have more protection than gift cards, cash or cryptocurrency. Contact the payment company right away and ask for a refund, then report to the FTC and IC3.

Why does the caller tell me to keep it secret?

Secrecy stops you from doing the one thing that exposes the scam, which is calling a relative. The FTC and the FBI both say to contact family even if you were told not to.

Before you decide

You do not have to decide anything during the call. The only decision to make is to stop, hang up and check. Agree a code word with your family this week, put trusted numbers where you can find them, and remember that no real emergency requires gift cards, cryptocurrency or cash given to a stranger. If you think you have been scammed, contact your bank or the payment company first, then report. Someone at AARP’s helpline, or a trusted friend, can help you through it.

Sources

• Family Emergency Scams (Federal Trade Commission)
• Scammers Use Fake Emergencies To Steal Your Money (Federal Trade Commission)
• Scammers use AI to enhance their family emergency schemes (Federal Trade Commission)
• What To Do If You Were Scammed (Federal Trade Commission)
• Grandparent scam public service announcement, November 2023 (FBI Internet Crime Complaint Center)
• Grandparent scam (AARP)

Last updated: November 2026. This article is general information, not legal, financial or security advice; for your own situation, speak with your bank, local police or an attorney.