Scam Alerts

Is Your New Online Friend Real? Five Checks Before You Trust Them

By Maren Hale / November 9, 2026

Meeting someone new on the internet can be a real pleasure. Many lasting friendships and marriages begin that way. Sadly, dishonest people also use social media, messages, dating sites and hobby groups to build a warm friendship and then ask for money. This guide gives you five simple checks to make before you trust a new online friend, explains what to do if you have already sent money, and lists the places that can help. Nobody who has been caught out should feel foolish. These people are skilled at what they do, and they are patient.

Key takeaways

The most important rule from the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) is this: never send money or gifts to a sweetheart you have not met in person.
Five checks can protect you: a live video call, a picture search, a story that stays the same, a firm “no” to money requests, and a talk with someone you trust.
If you have sent money, contact your bank or the payment company straight away, because speed matters.
You can report to the FTC, to the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center, and to a national helpline for older adults.

Why a friendly stranger can be a problem

Some terms first. A “scam” is a trick to take your money or personal details. A “romance scam” is one where the trick is built on a friendship or a love interest. The person may seem kind, interested in your life and easy to talk to. That is the point of it. The friendliness is used as a tool.

The FTC lists several signs that appear again and again. The person may soon ask you to move your chat away from the dating site or app to email, calls or private messages. They may say they love you quite early on. They may live far away, perhaps working abroad or serving in the military. They say they cannot meet in person. Later they may ask for money for a medical bill, a plane ticket, a visa or some fee, or suggest you invest in cryptocurrency (digital money that is hard to trace or get back).

None of these signs proves a person is dishonest. But several together are a reason to slow down.

The five checks

Check 1: Ask for a live video call

Suggest a video call, where you can see and hear each other as you talk. Honest people are usually glad to do this, even if they are a little shy. If the person keeps finding reasons not to, or the call never happens, treat that as a warning. Note that a call is helpful but not proof on its own. Keep going through the other checks.

Check 2: Search for their picture

A “reverse image search” lets you upload a photo to a search engine and see where else it appears online. The FTC suggests doing this with a profile photo. If the same picture shows up under other names or with different details, that is a sign the profile is not genuine. You can also search the person’s stated job together with the word “scammer” to see whether others have reported a similar story. If you are not sure how to do this, ask a family member or a librarian to show you.

Check 3: See whether the story stays the same

Real life is messy but consistent. Notice whether details change: where they live, what they do for work, their age, their family. Notice whether there is always a new crisis. Keep a few notes if it helps. A person who is truthful will not mind a gentle question about something that does not quite add up.

Check 4: Never send money, gift cards, bank details or cryptocurrency

This is the firmest check of all. Do not send money or gifts to someone you have not met in person, whatever the reason or however sad the story. The FTC says scammers want payment by wire transfer, gift cards (where you read out the numbers on the back), money transfer apps or cryptocurrency, Do not share your bank details, card numbers or Social Security number either. Be careful about checks too: the FTC warns that a scammer may send a check that later proves fake and then ask you to deposit it and send some money onward.

Check 5: Talk it over with someone you trust

Before you do anything else, tell a friend, relative or neighbor about your new friend. The FTC says to pay attention if they are worried. The FTC also notes that scammers pressure you to act at once, while honest businesses give you time to decide. If someone tells you not to talk to anyone else, that alone is worth a pause.

What to do if you have already sent money

First, please do not blame yourself. Many careful people have been caught. What matters now is to act promptly, because the FTC says that getting a payment reversed depends on how quickly you report it.

Stop all contact and stop sending money. You do not need to explain or argue with the person.
Contact the company that handled the payment. Use the number on your card or on your bank’s official website, not a number the other person gave you. The table below shows who to call.
Keep your records. Save messages, profile names, screenshots, receipts and dates. For a gift card, keep the card and the receipt.
Change passwords on any account the person might have reached, and switch on two-step sign-in if it is offered.
Report it to the places listed in the next section.

How you paid	Who to contact right away
Bank transfer	Your bank or credit union
Payment app	The payment app company
Wire transfer	The wire transfer company
Credit or debit card	Your card company or bank, using the number on the back of the card
Gift card	The company that issued the card, using the number on the back
Cryptocurrency	The exchange or machine operator, then report to the FTC
Cash sent by mail	U.S. Postal Inspection Service, 1-877-876-2455

The FTC points out that cryptocurrency has fewer legal protections than other methods, though some states have laws that may help. If the scammer used your Social Security number, the FTC directs people to IdentityTheft.gov for a recovery plan.

Where to report and get help

Federal Trade Commission

The FTC takes reports at ReportFraud.ftc.gov. It does not resolve individual cases, but reports help it spot patterns and warn others. The FTC also suggests telling the social media site or dating site where you met the person.

FBI Internet Crime Complaint Center

The Internet Crime Complaint Center, called IC3, is run by the FBI and takes online reports at complaint.ic3.gov. The site says to report even if you are unsure whether your situation counts, and that IC3 will never contact you directly to ask for information or money. It also warns that it does not work with law firms or crypto services to recover lost funds, so be wary of anyone who offers to get your money back for a fee. If you are in immediate danger, call 911 or your local police.

National Elder Fraud Hotline

The U.S. Department of Justice’s Office for Victims of Crime runs the National Elder Fraud Hotline on 833-FRAUD-11 (833-372-8311). Anyone who has been a victim of elder fraud, or who knows someone who has, can call. According to its page, callers are assigned a case manager who helps with reporting and refers them to other services, in English, Spanish and other languages. As of November 2026 the page lists hours of Monday to Friday, 10:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. Eastern time, so check the page for any change.

Your state attorney general’s office may also take consumer complaints.

A quick safety checklist

I have asked for a live video call.
I have searched for the profile photo.
The details of their story match from one chat to the next.
I have not sent, and will not send, money, gift cards, bank details or cryptocurrency.
I have told someone I trust about this friendship.
I will not be rushed into any decision.
If something feels wrong, I will stop and ask for help.

Frequently asked questions

What if the person says they will send me money first?

Be cautious. The FTC warns against depositing a check and sending money onward, because the check can later prove fake. Talk to your bank before doing anything with money from someone you have not met.

I feel embarrassed. Should I still report?

Yes. Reporting is not a confession of foolishness. It helps officials track the problem and may help others. The IC3 site invites reports even if you are unsure whether your case qualifies.

Can I get my money back?

Sometimes, but it depends on how you paid and how quickly you acted. The FTC says reversals and refunds depend on speed. Nobody can promise a result, and be wary of anyone who offers to recover money for a fee.

How do I know a call from a “helpline” or “bank” is genuine?

You cannot tell from the call itself. If anyone contacts you out of the blue, hang up and look up the number yourself, on your card or the organization’s official website. The FTC advises the same for unexpected messages: contact the company through a number you look up, not one you were given.

Before you decide

You can enjoy meeting new people online and still be careful. Take your time, ask questions, and keep your money out of any friendship you have not been able to confirm in person. If you are ever unsure, pause and talk to someone you trust, or call the helpline. Asking for help is a sign of good sense.